With 2019 ending and New Years being right around the corner, I decided to look back on what I’ve been able to achieve/ learn throughout the year before I write about my goals. Now, as a blogger, I did achieve my resolutions/goals to a certain extent, but I was able to achieve more things on a personal level than a professional one. My main personal goal was to be more confident and a lot more comfortable in my own skin—though I sort of overestimated the amount of confidence I could get in a single year. WARNING: THIS POST IS LONG.
Being more self-aware
Throughout the year, I’ve become more self-aware and that’s because I decided to journal every single day (or often at least). The idea of journaling every single day came from Lavendaire—a Youtuber who creates content on self-improvement and even shows tips on how to become more productive with whatever it is you want to do. Now, I don’t really write three pages during the morning, but I do make it my goal to at least journal 3 pages throughout the day. What I do first is check my tarot deck for what I should focus on and then write whatever card (or cards) come up in my reading (though I don’t make a full-on prediction as to what will happen to me during the day since life can be quite unpredictable) followed by the time that I write a certain entry. Doing this helps me keep track of how my mood changes throughout the day and makes me more conscious of why I would feel a certain away. It also made me more conscious of my past behavior and learn from it as a means to not be such a toxic person to the ones I love (if any of you are reading this, I know you’re going to say “you’re not a toxic person, you’re only toxic to yourself”, but it does make me feel bad and I don’t like the feeling of pulling you guys down just so I could feel better). To be honest, I got so addicted to journaling that I take my journal around with me everywhere along with my kindle, phone, and ideas notebook.
Health: On and Off Days
Another personal goal of mine (which technically connects with being more confident in myself) is working hard in becoming healthier. Since my second year of college, I haven’t really been taking care of myself. I would eat copious amounts of junk food and I never exercised (other than walking to my classes and back to the dorm). It got to the point where I had gained 30 pounds from second to fourth year. I did do the K-pop dance challenge, and it made me realize how much work a person needs to do as a means to make sure they’re healthy in every way possible. I also went to see a doctor which I haven’t done since I was 18 (I’m 23 at the moment that I’m writing this). My biggest concern was having diabetes since it runs in the family, but I ended up being diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism. I still tend to be rather lazy most days, but now that I’m becoming more aware/ conscious of what I’m doing and how it affects me, I’m trying my best to make sure that I’m able to treat my body how it’s supposed to be treated and not let it rot out of laziness (technically depression also has a role in this, but I’m still working as best as I can with each part of my health). In November (if I’m not mistaken), I became part of a K-pop Cover Dance Group called Starlink. Since joining the group, I always made sure to schedule in at least 30 minutes of practice as a means to improve my dancing ( I’ve started to become a lot less stiff than when I started).
Searching for love of art
Throughout the year, I’ve been trying to find out what I truly wanted to do with my life. It got to the point where I would lie in bed asking myself the same question repeatedly while also compare myself to others. I also forgot why I wanted to become a writer in the first place. I made the excuse of not reading that much this year because I already had enough to read from my classes. I made so many excuses to not write (both for this blog and for my own fictional works/ poetry) which ultimately became a major weight because I wasn’t working on improving in the slightest. What’s the point of writing if I’m just going to be blocked all the time? Was what I would ask myself. When I did NaNoWriMo, I was shocked with how many ideas I came up with and how each day, I was able to surpass the amount of words I wrote the previous day. Since I’m currently in winter break before I start my Master’s degree (BTW I got accepted. YAY!), I’ve been mostly spending my time researching on certain topics and making sure that I write at least one paragraph per day. One other thing that I made an excuse not to do was to work on music. I used to practice playing the piano and the guitar each day while also working on a song. Since Hurricane María happened, I haven’t even touched a single key, I stopped singing, and the strings of my guitar are all broken from not using them. Lately, I’ve been considering getting my keyboard and singing. I haven’t done that yet, but hopefully, when I do, I’ll feel more like myself (since I always loved music growing up).
Those are my take-aways from 2019. I’m sorry that this post might’ve been a bit lengthy, but I do hope you enjoyed reading it. I hope you all have a lovely rest of the holiday break and what’s left of this decade. Until next time, keep your paws and bowls of ramen up, everyone! Nya! 🐾